-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- Terry McMillan writes best-selling fiction , but it was real-life drama -- a very public divorce -- that garnered her some of her biggest headlines .

The nasty split with ex-husband Jonathan Plummer , the inspiration for the popular novel and movie `` How Stella Got Her Groove Back , '' was dissected everywhere , from book blogs to `` The Oprah Winfrey Show . '' A lawsuit , fraud allegations and public accusations all played out like plot points in one of her novels .

A lot has changed since then .

`` I just ended up realizing I had become this other person that I did n't like , '' McMillan said . She is now friends with her ex -LRB- `` I just spoke to Jonathan on the phone yesterday '' -RRB- and has set out to explore other family dramas in her trademark candid and funny style .

Her new book , `` Who Asked You ? , '' explores grandparents raising grandchildren -- a topic that has long fascinated her .

`` One of the reasons that I write is because I 'm more interested in looking , as opposed to looking away , '' McMillan said .

In the book , Betty Jean , or BJ , is the matriarch of a family that includes an ailing husband , two sisters , a son in jail , a daughter on drugs and a son who is trying to forget where he came from .

It delves into a serious topics from 15 viewpoints , an ambitious exploration of the inner lives of characters that are not normally given a voice .

Though it touches on drug abuse , coming out of the closet and prison sentences , `` Who Asked You ? '' still features the typical McMillan humor and smart dialogue , connecting the themes through family and friendship .

And while she insists her personal life has been an inspiration for her fiction , it is not the template .

`` A lot of the characters I write about are n't like me , with the exception there might be snippets or little particles of their personality that I might identify with , '' she said . `` The fact that they think this might be real -- that means I did my job . ''

McMillan spoke to CNN about learning to trust her instincts , what she learned from a highly publicized divorce and where her life ends and art begins . An edited transcript of the conversation follows :

CNN : What inspired you to write `` Who Asked You ? ''

Terry McMillan : What inspired me to write this book was my ongoing or longstanding concern and curiosity about grandparents , and grandmothers in particular , who raise their grandchildren .

I knew it would be a hardship story , and I did n't want it just to be that , based on the grandmother . So I also figured that there was another element that would probably lend itself to the story , one I was familiar with , and that is when you open your mouth to offer unsolicited advice , and people either resent it or do n't use it or do n't take it .

And , when people do this , not just me , but when people offer advice , they do n't look at their own behavior .

CNN : You have spoken about drawing from real-life observations and experiences for previous novels . How do you balance that public persona that people really relate to , with the fictional stories that some might assume to be the story of your life ?

McMillan : Well , I 'll put it this way , I separate my personal life from what I write about regardless . This book is not necessarily a reflection of my own personal experiences . But there are certain things that are universal : disappointment , love , forgiveness , just a sense of responsibility , danger , etc. . You just personalize that , you bring it down to ground level .

CNN : One of the stories you drew from personal experience was `` How Stella Got Her Groove Back , '' about an older woman who falls in love with a much younger man while on vacation . Your subsequent divorce from Jonathan , your ex-husband who inspired the book , became a topic of discussion . What was the lesson you took away from that public divorce ?

McMillan : You have to go through what you go through , regardless of what other people say . And you should n't have to apologize for grieving . I was grieving , and I was angry -- two bad combinations . And so I had to go through it .

It took awhile for me to realize that , to this day , I still love the Jonathan that I loved , that I was with eight of those 10 years . And I stopped holding myself emotionally hostage , and I stopped holding him responsible for it .

I think that 's the lesson . But there 's no time limit on grief or anger until you start realizing it 's like a termite and it 's eating you up . That 's when you need to pay attention . And I realized also that I had given this man too much power over my life . And not only was he not worth it , but I was worth more .

CNN : Part of your appeal is having been such an authentic voice and being honest in sharing your personal life . Do you ever regret sharing some parts because of reactions or reviews like The New York Times that comment on your life as well as your books ?

McMillan : No . The bottom line is this -- this book had nothing to do with my personal life . It was n't even a reflection of it . The review was a short review , anyway ; it was only two paragraphs . The entire first paragraph , she spent reviewing me . Which I thought was grossly unprofessional as well as just tacky .

And plus it was tinged with anger . It was anger in that first paragraph . I mean , I can handle a bad review , especially if there 's something I can get out of it . I 've been out here too long .

A lot of people make their own deductions about what 's real and what 's not real . Personally I do n't really care , but when I go around and I do book tours , I often have cleared things up . And sometimes it shows up in print , and now with social media . There are people that know what I stand for and who I am .

CNN : What do you want people to know about you that they may not already know about you ?

McMillan : That I 'm a die-hard romantic . They might know that .

You get energized by -LRB- love -RRB- . I do n't care what kind of love it is -- it could be a baby , a puppy . Romantic love probably tops all of them . Maybe -- I have n't had a grandchild yet .

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Best-selling author Terry McMillan 's new book is `` Who Asked You ? ''

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The book explores the relationship of grandmothers raising grandchildren

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McMillan : `` I write ... because I 'm more interested in looking , as opposed to looking away ''